Deliberate Timing

We all have excuses for NOT practicing self care. This is especially true when there is a child in the home who has Autism or special needs. Do you hear yourself saying, “He needs me” or “I can’t do for me because she will be nervous if I’m not right there”?

I know. I have been there a million times as a parent.

It seems odd, but taking time for you IS important whether you have a child with special needs or if there are other children in the home, especially if they are neurotypical.


They watch. They learn. They observe. Do you want them learning that being an adult means being so completely consumed that you are exhausted and life is simply finding one’s way to sleep each night? Of course not! Additionally, you need more. Here’s the thing: There IS more!

Schedule time each day for SOMETHING. Maybe it’s simply breathing and closing your eyes for 15 minutes an evening to start. Yoga? Running? Reading?

I was at a point when I would spend 30 minutes with my two “typical” children (whatever that means) two days a week each. I would turn in to sleep around 9:00PM and rise shortly before 5:00AM and run. I was NOT an athlete by any means. I started out just walking. Before I knew it, I discovered all kinds of ways to carve out time for me, my family, my son with Autism/Epilepsy and even a little time with friends. Yes. I worked full time. I was a single mom then. I have since married and we make time for each other.

This isn’t just for moms! This is for all of us. It can be deep breathing, yoga, yard work, art or creating, or simply taking a warm bath.

The most important piece in this is looking at our schedule and creating deliberate timing. It CAN be done. You may have to literally hand to write everything you need to do, hour by hour, until it becomes habitual. That’s how I got started.

Doing for you actually creates more support for your children and family. Feel free to contact me for ideas on how to better address this issue and create time for yourself…time that brings you joy from within so you can give back and be a better parent. Think of it as your own renewable resource. It’s all about timing purposely. Deliberately.

Mia Sultanik